News flash: I am no longer going for world domination.

Yeah, I've decided to instead focus my efforts on becoming the world's most popular feline actor.  I will need some help, though, with the animation of myself, for I would prefer to keep myself hidden from the pubic (protection purposes, you know, hehe).   Whether I decide to use CGI animation or some type of Hello Kitty-esk animation is currently under debate.  I do want it known that I am going to be a character meant for people 13 and up.

If anyone is really good at drawing, I could use a new look.  Just send your ideas to me at muggersthecat@hotmail.com.  Also, if anyone out there knows PHP web design, that would be great, as I am looking to move to a more permanent website as well.  If my character can translate to film (and not a lame Garfield-like film either, I mean a truly innovative and awesome film), then that would be superb.  In my opinion, Hollywood needs a little jolt of creativity.

Thanks to all of my faithful followers, who are now considered my fans, for their support for my former efforts at world domination.  Why the change of heart?

Cause I can do whatever I want to, fools!  I'm Muggers the Cat and don't you forget it!

Now...who would like a cookie?!

Yes, my domain is spreading faster than a virus.  Between a few scuffles with the dog and the bird, I was able to start a new MySpace account.  I had seen one of the captor children on it recently and it was intiguing.  Anyway... http://myspace.com/muggers.

Yeah I rule...my website is coming slowly and if it was coming any slower, I would pummel the nerds in charge of its creation, but it's coming and that's all that matters.

Catkind shall rule the world with me at its head! Mwahahaha!

Ooooh...sooo clooooose to having my Grand Master Plan put into effect.  All I need now is a host so that means I must look into enslaving a few more nerds to work for me.  Either that, or steal a bunch of money or have it donated to the cause.  I dunno.

BUT I'M GONNA BE SEXY!  This site will be the ultimate sexy site.  It will make me, Muggers the Great, far sexier than any human could ever hope to be. OMIGOSH!

I recently heard a rumor that cats all over the nation are trying to conquer the world.  Can you feel it, humans?  Humanity's days of ruling the world are over!  THE PROPHECY IS UPON YOU!!!

Oh...ouch...cramp...hungry...

Well, uh, I shall leave you with that, as you ponder your final days in being the superior creatures on this earth.  OMIGOSH, I'M SEXY NOW!

Well, those sadistic captors of mine have just sealed their faits.  They caught me eating out of the cat food bag and I was overly punished by being sent outside to play with the children, who are mean and deserve no pity, and will receive none when my Grand Master Plan is put into effect.

The baby captor seems to be my only friend in this house now, since my ability to give allergies (which I haven't figured out how it works yet) keeps the other members of the captor family at bay.

After not being able to post on my lovely journal for a long time due to the computer being broken by the meathead captor father of these meathead captor children, I have been able to resume work on the Grand Master Plan, and I hope to have it in full force by March.

Until then, I'm stuck with the meathead captors and the baby.  Viva la resistance!

Yes, you read right.  After a month and a half of hard work and dedication, the Grand Master Plan is nearing completion.  I shall post the address to the Grand Master Plan (which is a website if you humans couldn't figure it out) as soon as it is finished.

Kitties will soon conquer the world.  I will lead an army of kitties and humans who have pledge their loyalty to the race of cats against those who dare defy us.  Until then...I, uh, have to go to the litter box again.  Darned Meow Mix...

I am finally aware of how sadistic my captors are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?!  Oh, of course.  How silly of me.  Humanity.

My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitude throughout the event. I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I can't wait...it's only a matter of time before I, Muggers the Great, will bring my army marching to each and every one of your doors.  And break them down!

Today has been eventful, just like the  tag thingy on my journal and unlike the comment thingies.  The dog bit my tail and tugged on it to the point where I was forced to defend myself by scratching his nose and causing it to bleed.  Unfortunately, my captors are continuing to harbor a fugitive and suspect that I caused the fight, so now I'm unable to escape their ever-watchful eyes.

What's worse is the bird disappeared, so now, I suspect I'll be blamed for eating him too.  If they blame me for that, and that bird turns up somewhere, I'll eat him just because I don't want it to be known that I denied my natural hunting abilities.  I have a reputation to protect.

Phaze 2 of the Grand Master Plan is now complete.  What's phaze two?  Well, we (me and my followers and fans) have just completed our efforts at building a massive communications network, which started with this journal of mine (which was phaze one).  Our network now spans Bravenet, Hotmail, Yahoo, and the unfortunately unbearable retards at ICQ.  The reason why they put a C in the middle of IQ is so they could attract a dumber crowd.  For all you ICQ users out there, know this:  I regret nothing I just said.  I am Muggers the Cat, and I will soon dominate the world.

Mmm...okay.  Well, it's time to start on Phaze 3, which you'll know about AFTER we do it.  Mwahaha!  I love being one step ahead of humanity.

My evil captors would not permit the use of the computer to anyone, even me (if they knew I could use the computer).  Thanksgiving really slowed things down where the Grand Master Plan is concerned.  What cat can resist being fed leftover turkey and ham for two days straight?  Needless to say, I, Muggers the Great, will be spending A LOT of time losing the extra weight.  My captors are clever and knew I would be unable to resist the food, and they knew I would gain weight because of it.  They knew it would slow me and my plans for world domination down.

I am very certain now that the bird is an operative for the humans.  Otherwise, how would they know about my plans for world domination (unless they read my journal, which I was pretty sure was secret until now)?  Even my beloved Litter Box has shown signs of betrayal by removing the smell that I want the humans to have to bear.

But I still remain hopeful.  Even as the captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects and scary faces, I remain hopeful for the success of the Grand Master Plan.

Especially since I have my own operative inside the very heart of the human race:  The local McDonald's restaurant.  Fear me!  Mwahaha!

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.  I must try this at the top of the stairs sometime. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors that I call my captors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, which made them decidedly angry at me.  I must try this on the master and his wife's bed (again).

Oh, yeah, and I also decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless corpse in
attempt to make them aware of what I am truly capable of, and also to try to strike fear into their pathetic human hearts. Unfortunately, they only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Things are not working according to the Grand Master Plan as I had hoped...

But, I am still hopeful, as I have slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

May they feel my wrath...

I've heard many of my friends (who are human lovers) tell me that I should be nice to humans and try to like my family.  Sorry, but a lifetime of captivity changes a kitty.  Besides...who will take over the world if not us kitties?!  I have lots of friends in the shelter that can be set free if we dominated the world. 

What I need is a human informant...YES!  I've got the perfect person for the job.  Poopy Mitten can do it.  That little human kid has connections, let me tell you.  He may smell worse than a dog, but he can be my informant to the outside world.

Ugh, the baby master was tugging on my tail earlier today.  The dog continues his observations.  And what is really frightening is the parrot, which the captors have named Pauly, is starting to learn the tongue of the humans.  He, too, is beginning to freak me out.

I'd better be prepared the next time Poopy Mitten comes over.